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sara zata · Guru

Etiquette

LovesDolls · Guru

No one is offended by your friendliess! At least I hope not! It is just that the internet is out there for everyone to see. It has potential dangers which is why we use Screen names or User names instead of just our real names. It is really a safety issue. People steal identities and do other nasty things. The don't have to even register to read all of our posts! Anyone can come on and gather information.

sara zata · Guru

Well loves, no one has to use their full name just their first, as a greeting, June M from Oz. weirdface

-- Edited by sara zata at 16:06, 2008-09-07

LovesDolls · Guru

LOL @ the husband and children!

But if you read about people who thought they were safe for similar reasons you'll see that no matter how many bills you have or even how bad your credit is (not sure how that works in Australia) someone can still do a lot of damage that can take years and toll on your health to fix, if it ever gets fixed.

shakyhandsme · Senior Member

I think there is a little paranoia going around...

I can't speak for June, just myself... but I like knowing someone's first name when I'm talking to them... or giving them a hard time. No one here, with the exception of moderators, has to use their last name although some of us have, such as June. I see no problems with someone wanting to address another person by their first name. Like June, I believe it is simply a matter of manners. Guess we old gals are a little set in our ways. I was not born in the bush... I was actually born in a large city, but I grew up in the middle of the woods of upstate New York, and addressing a person as "hey YOU" would be unthinkable. So, unless you have a million little cyber snipes on this bloody forum.... sniping into everyone's personal information... we'd like to use first names when possible.
If a person does not wish to give it, the reply that is polite is "Shaky"... and not a sermon on cyber crimes.
Sorry... in a pissy mood!

Pat C.

-- Edited by shakyhandsme at 20:38, 2008-09-07

LovesDolls · Guru

In an online community your username *is* your "first name." Again, it comes to privacy. I understand that for people new to forums it can be confusing. People learn to trust others like you would in "real life." The difference is that people who aren't so nice or trustworthy lurk around looking for private information. That is why usernames are used. After a while one "becomes" their user name in the same way a child becomes their first name.

I had a cyber friend with whom I had a disagreement (he insisted that Dr. Pepper was not sold in Fast Food restuarants with Coke a Cola products but only with Pepsi -- I knew otherwise because Dr. Pepper is independent). He went to a restuarant with his mom were they served Dr. Pepper with their Coke products and outloud said: "(my username) was right!" His mother was very confused so he had to explain to her.

At any rate. If someone chooses to disclose their name that is up to them. But otherwise one does not ask for their first name, use their username as you would use their first name. People already call me Loves here.

sara zata · Guru

Thank You , Pat C, That was the point I was trying to get across. I don't or do not have any intentions of passing someone, who has trusted me with any information for it to go any further, even f it was only In a pm, and asked not to use it on the forum. June M from Oz weirdface

sara zata · Guru

I am a 62 yr old woman, and am not unaware of the things that go on in our world, I listen to the news and know about pedafifiala and all other discusting things that are going on arround us and agree you don't have to put it all out there but a first name, what are they going to get from that. I know i'm not too computer litterare buthow does anyone know who we are talking to if there isn,t a slight bit of trust. Sorry to upset some. Been there ,done that and seen that. I am willing to trust you all with all my heart or I wouldn't have told you some of my secrets, June M weirdface

-- Edited by sara zata at 16:01, 2008-09-07

LovesDolls · Guru

It is not a matter of trusting *us* it is the fact that this forum is PUBLIC and anyone can get any information you post!

sara zata · Guru

Your tone is unexceptable and I don't need it in my life. Somebody --
--

-- Edited by sara zata at 16:12, 2008-09-07

Miss Reborner · Senior Member

Ladies, let's try not to be too nasty, okay? Everybody has a right to their own opinion, and shouldn't have to face rudeness because it differs from somebody else's.

Tesa · Veteran Member

shakyhandsme wrote:

I think there is a little paranoia going around...

I can't speak for June, just myself... but I like knowing someone's first name when I'm talking to them... or giving them a hard time. No one here, with the exception of moderators, has to use their last name although some of us have, such as June. I see no problems with someone wanting to address another person by their first name. Like June, I believe it is simply a matter of manners. Guess we old gals are a little set in our ways. I was not born in the bush... I was actually born in a large city, but I grew up in the middle of the woods of upstate New York, and addressing a person as "hey YOU" would be unthinkable. So, Naomi, unless you have a million little cyber snipes on this bloody forum.... sniping into everyone's personal information... we'd like to use first names when possible.
If a person does not wish to give it, the reply that is polite is "Shaky"... and not a sermon on cyber crimes.
Sorry... in a pissy mood!

Pat C.

Naomi never posted under this topic. Why was her name used? I think there is some confusion over names.

confused

-- Edited by Tesa at 20:37, 2008-09-07

shakyhandsme · Senior Member

Paranoia in deed.

I used Naomi's name as an "example" of people being comfortable using their first names here. If I knew it was going to start some kind of war I would have inserted my own name.....

Pat C.

zoe way · Member

Hi I use my name on here, are you talking about me? If so, I am not too sure when I have been rude to people aswell?? I am really confused if this is me, but really confused if it isnt me. I have not intented to cause offense anyone by being rude or using my name :S or am i just being paranoid now?

Zoe x

LovesDolls · Guru

sara zata wrote:

Your tone is unexceptable and I don't need it in my life. Somebody --
--

-- Edited by sara zata at 16:12, 2008-09-07

I was trying to help you understand that it is *not* safe for people to give out personal information on a forum. Nor is it acceptable to ask people to for their first names. Someone can choose to use their first name if they wish. Otherwise, use their username when addressing them. There are certain standards of etiquette (sometimes called netiquette) that is different online in a forum than real life. This is not an issue of opinion.

tianakaesha · Veteran Member

I have only recently started using my real name on forums. Until recently I NEVER used people's first names, even if it was common knowledge. I will only use someone's first name if they use it in a sig or something similar.

The truth is, having been on the net for 14 years I have seen, and experienced, some of the dirtiest crappiest situations.

Just three days ago as a moderator of another site I had to help close down someone's account because they were being stalked having used their real name. Not only did this happen online, it extended to their real life and put their family in jeopardy.

In both real life and online I am often known as Tiana. My previous boyfriend only referred to me as that, rather than my real name. That's just part of the culture now. My husband only goes by his online persona, both in real life and online. That is his name now.

Unfortunately, just because a few can leave a bitter taste, it can distort the whole online experience. I think it is undertandable to not use a real name if you don't want to share it. Even in private messages. I like people using their real names, however I understand people who do not.

However. Having said that, if you are in reborning to sell dolls, you will need to not only go by your nursery name, but your artist name as well because people expect to know the artist behind a doll. Just as someone would expect to know the name of who painted a painting.

Of course, people can keep their online names and their nursery/artist name as separate identities and no one would be the wiser.

I think people should just remember that it is not a personal jibe if someone's name is not disclosed on a forum, it is just a reflection of the risks we expose ourselves to on the net. It's a different world online as to what it is in real life.

June... not having a go, ok :) I am just trying to highlight why people don't like sharing their first name, even in a PM etc...